Thanksgiving of the Genuine Variety

So at the beginning of this year I dated a guy I thought was pretty awesome for a minute or two. He was wicked smart (smaht, if you prefer), cute as hell, and very sweet... to me... initially. I learned over time that he actually was sort of a miserable person with a bit of a mean streak, which I overlooked at first because a)it had not yet been directed at me and b)he clearly had refrained from spewing the full potency of his venom at others while we were in the "getting to know you" stage. It simply leaked out here and there and he was powerless to stop it. The conversation that finally illuminated the magical bulb above my noggin, though, was a simple one. We were on our way to Puerto Rico by way of CTA bus and el train to O'Hare. As we got off the Lawrence bus at the blue line el station, I said "Thank you" to the bus driver as I tend to do most of the time. I would not want that job and for the most part those guys and gals are good eggs. This exchange followed my "Thank you".

Jared: Why did you just thank that guy? He didn't do anything for you.
Me: Sure he did, was courteous and he got us here.
Jared: That's his job. That's what he gets paid for, you shouldn't thank people for doing their job.
Me: Why? It didn't cost me anything and he seemed like a nice guy. He's probably been driving that bus for hours. I said thank you and it made him smile. Why does that bunch your undies so much?
Jared: Because it doesn't make sense.

The exchange carried on but you get the gist. This dude was sincerely irked that I had said thank you to the bus driver on my way out the door. It was then that I realized not only that young Jared might have a bit of an anger issue, but that he just didn't "get" the concept of gratitude.

I will be the first to admit that I tend toward the negative. I am a realist to my core, I am pretty smart, I see things for what they are, and sometimes things just aren't good. In some respects that has served me well. A couple years ago I was on a bus in Peru on my way to the beginning of the Inca Trail where I would begin a three-day hike through the Andes Mountains to Macchu Picchu. It was a sunny day and off in the distance I saw a beautiful snow-capped mountain peak floating above the clouds. The guide explained that in a couple days we would be several thousand feet higher and standing directly opposite that peak. He went on to explain that due to the season, there was about a 50/50 chance we would be able to see it at that time, as rain and fog often obscured the view. So I got out my camera to snap a picture, just to make sure I got at least one shot of it, even if I might later see it at closer range. One of my travel companions remarked that she was not going to take a picture now, as she was thinking positively that it would be sunny when we got there and we would all get much better pictures then. I thought the approach a little silly and naive but could see she was very proud of her positivity and quite certain it would bring her the desired outcome so I closed my mouth and returned my attention to the scenery. I am the only person on that tour who got a picture of that mountain peak. By the time we got there, it was like looking into a vast expanse of nothing... rain and fog for miles. I was not happy to be right, as I really wanted to see that mountain peak up close... but I was grateful that I had the foresight to take the shot when I had it.

I say all that to say that I don't believe in thinking positively just for the sake of it when it really does not make sense. I'll leave that to the people who just aren't smart enough to see the realities of the world. But what I do believe is that while life provides us each with more than enough opportunities to growl at our circumstances, there also are always things to be grateful for, and life is exceptionally short so why not spend some time acknowledging those things? I've found that the more time I spend focusing on the things I'm grateful for, the more things I find that fit the bill and the less time I spend brooding over that which has gone awry.

In an effort to get better at this, essentially to force myself to take time each day to acknowledge something for which I am grateful, I have begun a photo journal. In the journal (click here to view), housed on flickr, I will post at least one photo each day representing something for which I would like to express my gratitude, with a blurb about why. My initial goal is to do this every day for 30 days, as part of a larger flickr group called 30 Days of Gratitude (which I found after I'd already decided to do this... it just seemed like a good fit and a way to keep me honest).

So wish me luck, and I encourage you to look around you and figure out what you're grateful for. You might be surprised at what you come up with if you give it some thought, I have been!